7 BEAUTIFUL WOMEN YOU COULD GET

7. Yvonne Strahovski 

On the left, we have Yvonne Strahovski, widely considered one of the most beautiful women on TV, and the reasonChuck has gone on for four unbearable seasons. On the right is her boyfriend, “actor” Tim Loden. Granted, he could pass for Brad Pitt’s brother if you were looking at him in dimly-lit room and you had a head injury, but his career as an acting monkey is currently highlighted by a guest-appearance on, you guessed it, Chuck, as “Polish Rocker”. 

6. Adriana Lima 

This one is a little more relative. Marko Jaric, married to Lima, one of the most successful supermodels in the world, did play for the NBA. That has to count for something, right? I mean, you’re not in the NBA. Dude is a baller. On the other hand, he’s kind of really funny looking. Just kind of. Especially in the ocular area - those are the tiniest eyes I’ve ever seen. His face is only like 5 per cent eye. 

5. Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Despite best efforts by the people behind Scott Pilgrim vs. The World to make her look like an androgynous fighter pilot, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is very gorgeous, in a girl-next-door kind of way. Her husband is the guy you didn’t notice up there, Ryan Sterns, who looks like he should be running her blog. And he probably does; his current employment as a “director” has yielded limited returns as a production assistant on theBionic Woman remake. 

4. Steffiana de la Cruz 

Filipino model Steffiana de la Cruz has given hope to funny fatties the world over, first by dating the late, consistently sweaty actor Chris Penn  for many years, then marrying Kevin James in 2004. Kevin James! In 2004! She must have had high hopes for King of Queens syndication payouts. Here they are with their daughter , who definitely has her hair - and his jowls.  

3. Marilyn Monroe

Here’s a vintage entry; technically you couldn’t get with Marilyn Monroe now because she’s pretty dead, but try and imagine it’s 1956. You’re watching the HUACC hearings on TV, and subversive, squirrelly-looking playwright Arthur Miller walks in with Monroe, effectively an announcement that he’s banging the hottest woman in the world. 

That really happened. 

2. Ilsa Fisher

Sascha Baron Cohen is a talented, successful guy, but he was Borat. He must do his routine from time to time, in private, which became totally insufferable sometime in 2007. Would you really want to live with that?

Isla Fisher does - the couple had their second child in 2010. 

1. Christina Hendricks 

Christina Hendricks is the sexiest woman in the world according to other women . That’s no small feat. So who has she chosen as her mate? Maybe a Don Draper look-alike, or even a genius playwright? Nope, that’s comic actor Geoffrey Arend, who you might remember as the college kid who ate all the drugs at the beginning of Super Troopers. 

Being the envy of every awkward doofus in the world was bad enough, but then he appeared in that Devil movie. Fuck him. Yeah, I said it.